I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
