It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
