Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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