in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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