Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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