he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
