This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
