Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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