is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
