great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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