I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
