Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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