Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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