You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
