her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
