My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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