Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
