ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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