eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
