i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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