They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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