Sponge bath it is.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize