I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
