At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
