If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize