Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
