I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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