People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
