I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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