love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
