Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The best revenge is premature balding
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
