You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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