i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
