I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My vagina just clenched in fear
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
