but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
