do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
