Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize