can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
