Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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