you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
