I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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