How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
