Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is my gift to your gina
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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