Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
