i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
