The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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