I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
