Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
