suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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