Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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