my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got inside last night via doggy door
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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