im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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