Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
