We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
