he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
