Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
