Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
