Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got inside last night via doggy door
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
