Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
