so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I see more hoeing in ur future
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