dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
