i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
