I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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